EGO - The Hidden Epidemic

While all of us are talking about the pandemic today, I'll share a piece I wrote in May 2019 on the HUMAN EGO, and how I think it's actually a hidden epidemic.

Have you ever had this moment where this super senior guy at work is explaining something super simple to you, but in these super complex terms, and you’re sitting there thinking:

MAN did I just sleep through the ENTIRE semester of this class, what the hell is going on.

And you’re in a room full of dudes who are just you know, agreeing with a non-chalant but clueless smirk

“of course that’s the explanation"

What in the world.

So as the young young engineer in the room, you take notes and make the promise of implementing exactly what they say. Which of course - in your head, just means, I will google the shit out of this until I hit the 75th google search page.

This phenomena my friends.. In medical terms is this naturally occurring virus found in the human body, called ego.

It’s found in nature, usually found on a host male specie and develops to take over time if fed sufficiently and often enough by competent female colleagues. It is found especially in environments where oil and gas is found. But unlike oil and gas, it is easily extracted - usually through a harmless question in your domain of expertise outside of the host’s area of knowledge, which suddenly creates an unknown threat to the host specie. Body temperature of the host may rise 5-10C, which is visible through veins on the forehead and a glowing red hue.

In severe cases temporary whopping cough or sweat beads larger than a centimetre in diameter can be seen. This infected individual is now symptomatic. While not deadly to the host, there have been cases reported, where the well-being of the surrounding human beings have been compromised. Resulting in pissed off female colleagues googling results to prove they were right while the deranged infected host will not accept reality. Some victims have been identified to deny basic laws of physics. Severe cases of this phenomena can represent itself in involuntary physical responses in the form of slamming on desks and yelling upon facing the truth, which results in a mid-week unplanned “w(h)ine night for the female subordinates” Studies have shown that 7 out of 10 corporate workers have been admitted to the ER with the diagnosis of “ego-mania”. Treatment options have varied from taking regular “chill pills to admission into a professional yoga facility.

The virus is also highly infectious - see above for reference of “male colleagues nodding”.

This is called an outbreak and if you find yourself sitting in a conference room with infected individuals, it is highly advised that you do not inhale, or engage in any human contact, close your eyes, and walk away as these individuals have been compromised.